Pudding, Bars, and Attractive Waitresses
by Kairi5
Summary: The Trigun gang stumble into each other at a bar in New July, an attractive waitress takes Vash's mind off his duties.(Complete)
1. Green eyed surprise

Disclaimer: I don't own Vash, Meryl, Milly, Knives, Legato, or Wolfwood.  
  
Pudding, Bars, and Attractive Waitresses?  
  
A man dressed in a long sleeved, button up, red trench coat was dancing down the main street of New July. His abnormally long, blonde, and spiky hair swaying with each shimmy of his shoulders. Obviously he was wearing some sort of portable radio. This man be-bopped, salsa'ed, and drag stepped his way into a bar. Oblivious to his surroundings he kept right on dancing and tripped over a pink wheeling bag. "Gaaahhhh." he said as his face painfully met the dusty wooden floor. "Oops, sorry about that Vash." a girl said. Vash reached into his coat and turned his radio off, then proceeded to try and stand. He looked in the direction of the apology ,"It's okay Meryl, I wasn't paying attention." he stated.  
  
"Hello Mr.Vash." Milly said between her bites of pudding. "Hello Milly." Vash said as he turned to face her. I see Wolfwood has bought you another surplus of pudding?" "No Mr.Vash, no one can ever have too much pudding!" Milly said happily. A finger tapped Vash's shoulder and he spun around quickly to see who it was. "Nicholas D. Wolfwood, what are you doing here?" Vash asked with his eyes closed. "Nothing much, just came with big girl and she wanted some pudding is all." When Vash opened his eyes he saw the prettiest girl he'd ever seen in his whole life, and she was wearing the least he'd ever seen on a girl. "hubb, ooh, aahhh, oohi?" He stuttered as pointed in her direction. Wolfwood turned around to see the same site. "hubb, ooh aahhh, oohi?" Wolfwood said aswell.  
  
Milly and Meryl turned to look back at them, then looked at each other. In unison they said "Boys!" and went back to their original sate.  
  
A beautiful girl with long blonde ringlet curls, green eyes, and a beautiful shining smile stood before Vash and Wolfwood. "Hi, my name is . . ." Vash said. Wolf wood stepped infront of him and said ,"Nicholas D. Wolfwood, at your service ma'am." he said as he offered her his hand. As the girl was about to accept his freindly gesture Vash grabbed him by the hair "Wolfwood I saw her FIRST. So . . . LAY OFF!! he said as he picked him up turned around and put him down behind him. "And I, my beautiful lady, am Vash the stampede."  
  
The woman's eyes lit up and Vash opened his arms to welcome her. She started to run, Vash was getting excited, then she ran right past him. "Aww, why does crap like this always happen to me." The woman sat down on a bar stool and was gulping down New July whiskey. "She's a drunkard?" Wolfwood said as he looked at Vash, who was currently crying. "Why me, Why me?" Vash said. "Excuse me. Wolfwood and Vash." The two men ran up to her and said "Yes?" in their sexiest voices. "I'm not a drunkard. I had a bet with the bartender, that if I could get two men to gawk at me I'd get a free drink. If no one did then the bartender would get all of my tips for the day." she giggled, as the bartender was cursing at her under his breath.  
  
"You're a waitress?" Wolfwood asked. "Why, of course. What did you think? This was a strip tease?" Vash and Wolfwood looked at each other and began laughing nervously. "Oh no, of course not!" Vash said moving both hands back and forth. "It's just my uniform, the boss says it attracts more people to come in here. Sorry I plum forgot to introduce myself, my name is Clarisse." she said with a wide grin. 


	2. What's wrong sweetie?

Disclaimer: I don't own Vash, Meryl, Milly, Knives, Legato, or Wolfwood, but Clarisse IS mine!  
  
"Well, what a beautiful name, for such a beautiful lady." Vash said in his sexiest voice. Clarisse giggled and nudged her shoulder with her cheek. "So complimentary. I like that in a man." Clarisse said in a raspy voice. Vash turned around and started dancing in place ,"Who's the man? Can we all say, ME! ME! Vash! ME! Ahem," Vash turned around to face her again slowly ,"What else do you like in a man?" Vash asked, and one of his eyebrows cocked up. Clarisse answered him ,"I cannot say infront of all these people." Vash's eyes lit up.  
  
Clarisse walked up to Vash whispered something in his ear, and then grabbed him by the front of his coat and dragged him out of the bar. 'Beautiful frisky girl + me = FUN!!' Vash thought as Clarisse walked into the nearest hotel and pulled out the nessecary money to rent a room for the night. Clarisse proceeded to pull him throughout the hallway to the room she paid for.  
  
When they walked in there was a beautiful king size bed with a canopy above it, stained wood floors, a curtained window, and a bathroom of their own. Vash looked aorund ,"Wow this place is really nice!" he said grinning widely at his newfound room. "Hey, where'd ya go?" Vash asked worriedly. Then he heard the bathroom door close. 'Oh' he thought to himself. He walked in and shut the door behind him, then walked to the bed. He sat on it, then had a bright idea. He laid down on the bed, put a hand under his face, and propped on of his legs up.  
  
Clarisse stepped out of the bathroom moments later with all lace undergarments on. "Humina humina." Vash said as he then found a reason to lay stomache down on the bed. She mosied over to him and sat herself down next to him on the bed. " What do you wanna do?" she asked with her sexiest voice, and fluttering her eyelashes. "Oh, uhh whatever you want to do would be just fine!" Vash replied. "Oh, well you're in for a treat then." She raised her eyebrows in unison. "Get up." she commanded. Vash did as he was told and awaited his next order 'This is fun so far!!' he thought and smiled broadly. "Strip down!" she said he looked at her as though he didn't understand whats she had just said. "Just to your boxers silly." She corrected herself. He nodded and stripped down to his boxers.  
  
Clarisse got up from her previous spot on the bed and circled Vash looking him up and down. "Hmm, nice." She said as she let her hand lazily trace his muscles as she walked around him.'uhhh that feels good' Vash thought as his sight was getting hazier by the second. Clarisse stopped circling him and pushed him so he fell back onto the bed. She strutted up to him, and raised herself up onto the bed, then straddled his stomache. Vash blinked several times to focus again, the pleasure already affecting his sight. " What's wrong sweetie? This your first time?" she cooed to him. "Uhhhh ????" 


	3. We could've been great together

Chapter 3  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun or any of the characters in it.  
  
"A ha ha." Vash nervously laughed. Clarisse looked at him in a dominating manner.  
  
" I'll take that as a yes." She said. She brought her lips down to his, as Vash's eyes got as big as saucers. He finally closed them and started to interact with her, grazing his tongue against her lips. She responded in opening her mouth and allowing him entrance. Vash forgot about being nervous and put his hands on the small of her back, then started to inch them forward and backward messaging her gently.  
  
'Fool, I can't have him blocking my path.' Clarisse thought. She pulled his hands down until they rested on her thighs; he began to message them gently. Clarisse was beginning to melt at his touch. She moved her lips away from his and began to kiss his earlobe. Vash couldn't help but make a few pleasuring noises. He was beginning to haze her train of thought. Then she suddenly noticed his hands weren't on her thighs anymore, they were steadily moving upward.  
  
Clarisse brought one hand to his shoulder and grasped it firmly, as the other went to the clasp of her bra. Vash opened his eyes noticing the absence of her other hand. His eyes got wide again noticing what was about to happen.  
  
"No, not now. No peeking." She said with her raspiest voice and the wink of an eye. Vash nodded, not wanting to spoil the surprise, and closed his eyes in expectancy. Clarisse removed her hidden surprise from the back of her bra and removed her hand from his shoulder so it could be better shown to him. "Okay, you can open your eyes now." She said sweetly.  
  
"What the?" Vash squeaked as a gun was pointed to his forehead, merely inches away. "Clarisse what, why?" Vash asked with an extremely sad tone.  
  
"What do you think? There's a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on your head, and I'm just the type of con artist to have trapped you as well as I did." Clarisse hissed at him.  
  
"So, you really have no interest in me?" Vash said, as his eyes got watery.  
  
"Bingo, we have a winner." Clarisse replied. She pulled the safety off on the gun and pressed it against his forehead. "See ya in hell, sweetie." She paused and smiled, then continued. "You were really good in bed too." She said as she smiled wickedly and pulled the trigger.  
  
"You shouldn't have tried that. Now I'm going to have to break my own personal rule; Never shoot at a girl." Vash said from behind Clarisse. She was still looking down at where he had been with disbelief. Then she hopped off the bed.  
  
"How did you, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?" Clarisse shouted, the anger dripping off her voice.  
  
"Well, if I told you that then it wouldn't be a secret anymore so." Vash said while sticking his tongue out. "We could've been great together Clarisse." Vash said as he aimed his gun at her heart. BANG! Clarisse clamped her eyes shut and thought about how painful it will be to be shot. After a few seconds she opened one of her eyes and looked around. All she saw was Vash standing there, still clad in his boxers with his gun held at his side.  
  
"Wh. . .Why didn't you shoot me?" Clarisse asked in a pitiful voice.  
  
Vash replied," Because, I never shoot at beautiful women." He smiled his kitten smile. She then took the opportunity to run out of the room. She didn't succeed though. Vash shut the door in front of her and locked it. "Now, you don't want to go out in public looking like that do you? You may get into trouble." He threw her clothes at her, unlocked the door and stepped out himself. Upon getting dressed rather quickly he stepped out of the hotel and went back to the bar where all his friends were.  
  
"Oh man, that was fast. She mustn't be too strong to only hold out that long." Wolfwood stated. While Meryl came up behind Vash and slapped the living day lights out of him.  
  
"How could you take advantage of a woman like that?" Meryl shouted.  
  
"It's a long story Meryl." 


End file.
